Occasionally, I notice how lonely I am - I see how sexed, how separated from I am from everyone else around me, from even the people that mean the most to me. I begin to see and feel how much my body and soul cry out for rest and peace.  I am tired.  I am weak.

I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best.  "Hindsight is 20/20" they say, well, there's a good deal of my life that I'd hope to have done different if I had the opportunity to do it again - but I'm glad that I have the opportunity to learn from my mistakes, to be changed by them, to choose to change because of them.

I'm pretty sure that I've become much more words of affirmation as my primary love language, and that has become frustrating at times - especially when expectations aren't met.  But it's to be expected from life; you don't always get what you want, nor do people do what you hope or want them to.

A friend told me recently that in any relationship, one person will always be doing more of the "loving" more than the other at any given point.  He told me that that's just the way it is sometimes.  He said that those times are the times when you realize how much people mean to you because you're willing to suffer with them, because of them, and sometimes in their stead.

I'm starting to see love as more of a many-faceted thing.  I know many people think that love is a feeling, an all-surpassing understanding that this person is the one and the only one for you, and I agree with them.  There are others who see love as an action as a choice, that love is what you choose to do in spite of how you feel, and strangely, I agree with those folks as well.  I'm pretty sure that love is both.  Sometimes, though, it seems fuzzy as to whether both exist in a relationship and sometimes, it just has to be a choice to believe that they exist and to wait to see them sprout and grow.

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People are treasures more valuable than anyone gives them credit for being.  Everyone has the potential to be amazing, cool, attractive, and generally fun to be around - they just need love, and not just the mushy-happy stuff.

(I thought I'd update this post, but I decided that I'd leave it at this...seems to speak for itself
I wrote it the friday before finals...as you may note...when I should have been working on hw.  ;-P )

Some men show their love for the one who has captured their heart with poems of great sappiness romantic zeal written with much heartfelt emotion.

Other men reveal their smittenness through the beauty of lovesongs  - some written and performed by famous artists and even some sung on the radio, while some sound more like caterwauling a joyful noise being made.

Still others shower the beloved of their very soul with the witty and mushy sentimental flair in loveletters known only to those of deep contemplation and endless hours of thought upon the object of their affection.

 

 

I send text messages.

 

 

Matthew

Sometimes, the things that we hold closest to our hearts are the things that keep us farthest from them.

 

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Matthew